Introduction:
I am writing this to you because I love you. I pray for you, your family, our nation, and world daily. I am not writing this for you to accept Jesus Christ, our God and savior; but for you to know Him. I cannot make you accept anything you do not want to, that will be up to you. But, I can tip off you of what I know and what I have learned.
I have been praying for a long time for God to show me a way that I could speak to you, and I firmly believe the stories you will read in here all happened for a purpose: and that purpose is to show you that His love is real. You'll soon find, as you read on, that God places us in circumstances that seem mind-boggling, and many times it takes nothing but prayer to get through them. I will continue praying that hopefully, one day, you will accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior if you have not already done so. By Him, all things are potential and through Him, you will shine.
Everything Has A Purpose:
I will start this small book thing for you describing a conversation in the middle of someone you may know, Bennie Ray Digman (Poppy) and myself. I am not sure if you are aware of this, but right before Poppy passed away, he decided to live for the Lord.
Day after day, I would go see Poppy after school at his apartment in Bay Minette. We would share stories, eat junk food, watch television...But, my favorite thing that we had done together was read the Bible. He would let me know what he was reading, and tell me about it. This went on for a while until' Poppy was relocated to the hospital, and then the nursing home. I knew his days were counting, and I did not want to see my Poppy lying there in a bed seeming hopeless.
However, God reminded me that it does not matter what cripples Poppy now, because when he goes to Heaven, all of the pain that hinders him will be vanished. I went to him and we talked as if a day had not passed. We took pictures and laughed at each other.
The last time I saw my Poppy was the most memorable time. It was the summer before my eleventh grade year, and I was with my friend Erica Sledge. She had driven me to the place that Poppy was staying, and we both walked in to see him. I will never forget the way he looked: pale, with small visible sores on his arms. He had an oxygen tube attached to his nose and he was sleeping. He seemed peaceful, as if his dream took him to other place, other time dimension where he was not in any pain. Where his lung cancer was gone and cigarettes were not even known.
I smiled sheepishly as I walked over to Poppy's bed and located my hand on top of his. His eyelids started blinking as he came back to reality, a place he obviously did not want to be. "Hey baby girl," Poppy said."Hey Poppy! Erica is here too. We brought you your favorite, vanilla yogurt. I didn't let anything see I had it. How are you feeling?"
I had so much to say to Poppy that I didn't want to stop talking. As Poppy took one of the yogurts and started eating, his next words brought tears to my eyes.
"Ally, I wish I never started smoking. I would not be here right now, I would not have to deal with this." I terminated my eyes as I spoke a small prayer to ask God to help me with what to say.
"But, Poppy..." I spoke slowly; manufacture sure what I was saying made sense.
"Everything happens for a reason. God doesn't place us in situations to be mean, but to see if we will turn to Him. See, you now have the most gift of all. What if you had stopped smoking when you were in your thirties, or had never started, and you got into a car crash and died? You would have not known the glory of God. You would have not known your family, me or Erica. You would not see your child again, and you would had been in the worse place ever." I paused to see if Poppy had anything to say. "Poppy, I know what you are in seems like hell, but it will never correlate to hell. Hell is worse. Hell is like being located in a fire, but never dying. Suffering from your flesh burning daily and forever. God has always had a purpose for your life, Poppy. He loves you, and one day He will take you to his magical kingdom."
I looked at Poppy and his faced mirrored mine, with tears trembling down our cheeks. "I love you, Ally," he said. "I love you more, Poppy," and then I hugged him forever.
Tears still come from my eyes when I think back to that last time with Poppy. But, I have to remind myself that I cannot be selfish and want him here with me on earth. Poppy is in a better place now. He is up in Heaven running around, playing baseball with his son, Randy. And, he is probably still jokingly threatening kids with his cane; his cane that he no longer needs.
One thing that I shared with Poppy, I want to bring emphasis to: all things happens for a reason. God has a special and unique purpose for your life. I believe Poppy's purpose was to take care of Randy, and be a good friend to Grandma Shirley. other thing I believe is that God had a purpose for me to visit Poppy that day, and it was to hold the conversation we held.
I also believe that God has a purpose for your life, or I would not be writing this to you. His purposes for our lives are all different. Just like you cannot have all forks in a utensil drawer, because when you want to eat your cereal you are going to need a spoon; God does not call all of us to be pastors, missionaries, doctors and the such. He has a unique plan for your life that will allow you to unite with others who are also unique and end up creating what God wants: a variety.
He does not expect or have intentions for your life to be like anything else! He has made you specifically to be different and it is our job to pray and find that special direction God has for us.
Do Not Worry:
God tells us in Matthew 6: 25 "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear..."God tells us this, because He is letting us know He will supply all of our needs to us. He goes on to ask us "...is not life not more prominent than food, and the body more prominent than clothes?" He is letting us know that He knows our needs and He will take care of them.
In Matthew 6:34, God says "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has sufficient troubles of its own."
You think that is impossible. That God would never care so much about your needs to supply you with what you need. If you are, stop telling yourself things such as, "God does not love me...he destroyed all of my things in a fire. He took all of my money away, and now I do not even have sufficient money for my kid's lunch. If God supplies my needs, where is my gas money? My house bill? If God loves me...then why did my precious dog run away? Why did he allow (fill in the blank) to happen?"
The thing is, God is still there waiting for you to call to Him! Ask yourself this: what have I done for God lately? God does not cause destruction for pain, but to allow you to run to Him. Just like we went over in lesson one, all things Happens For A Reason. When you conclude to accept this view and go to Christ, you will realize that your life starts to fall more into place. It will seem more ordained, like this is what life is supposed to be like.
I am not just writing words to you. I only write what I know it true, not because I just believe, but because I have experienced.
My senior year of high school was literally rough for me. I was living with my best friend, Clarissa Smith, while my house lived in an Rv an hour south to where was. I went home to where my house was on weekends that I did not have to work, because I missed my house a lot. One weekend when I went home, I got a phone call from Clarissa stating that I had to come back to her house. That she was cleaning, and I needed to be there too. The words she spoke to me struck through my heart. I didn't mind cleaning and helping with chores, but I was with my family. I hardly ever got to see them, and it was very hard to tell them goodbye. Most nights I would fall asleep with tear-stained cheeks. Didn't Clarissa's house know this? I did not want to go. God knew that I did not enjoy being away from my family. Therefore, when I went back to Clarissa's, it was to get my things.
I got a phone call some short time later from Clarissa telling me that I would never get any scholarships, or be able to go to college since I decided to live with my house an hour away from my high school in an Rv (basically homeless). Honestly, I was not sure how I was going to go back and forth to high school, because I did not have a car. But, God knew my need, and He had already planned a way for me to be able to get back and forth.
My Color-Guard educator lived only ten minutes from us, so my parents would drop me off and pick me up at her house. See, God located my Color-Guard educator in my life to also help me grow in Him as well. We would have conversations about God, and her advice was always helpful. She became one of my good friends and I trusted her with just about anything. I told her about the hurt Clarissa had caused me one day while one of our earlier car trips, and she had given me a good word of advice: place it in God's hands. I decided to do just that.
When I got my acceptance letter to Troy University I was ecstatic! Troy was the school that I had wanted to go since the first time I saw their Sound Of The South marching band. I would dream about being in their Color-guard, spinning the dark Troy flags with Fanfare. The only problem: How was I going to pay for this? I immediately started filling out scholarships. I tried my best not to worry and I had to keep reminding myself: "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself..."
I remember praying: "God, I have no idea the future for my life, but I know that you do. If it is in your will for me to go to Troy, please supply the way for me." I tried to keep my faith with God, knowing that He would make a way. I applied and went to the try-outs for the Sound Of The South Color-guard and found out a week later that I had made the list. I praised God, but deep down I still wondered how I was going to financially go to Troy.
One of the scholarships I applied for was up to ,000 a year! It was financial-need based and went to Alabama high school students who would be the first in their house to go to college. When I made the semi-finalist list I was so happy! I just knew that this was the write back to my prayers!
Every day, from then on out, I would check the computer screen to see if I had made the final cut. In Psalms 37:4 it says to "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." By this verse I prayed "Please God...you know my desire, please allow me to make the final cut."
However, not only does God give us the desires of our heart, but He also wants the best for us. So again day after day, I searched the site, waiting for them to display the winners. Then the day came: Mom, pawpaw Rayford, and I were looking bugged-eyed at the computer screen. "They've post the finalist list!" I screamed, filled with joy. I scanned the finalist list, searching for my name. I saw the words "Baldwin County" and got excited - until I saw the name of some guy beside it.
I had not made the final-cut. Immediately, I felt as if my future was doomed and my eyes filled with tears. I remember request God, "Why?" I did not understand the purpose for not receiving the scholarship until' a merge of months later.
God'S Will Is Better
In high school, one of my favorite subjects was art. After learning that I had not received the scholarship, my eyes were tear-stained for weeks. My mind was filled with questions about my future. I continued to pray to God, even though I had no idea at all what I was doing in life. Ms. O'Dwyer, my art teacher, had heard that I may not be able to go to college and informed me that she has a friend who enjoys helping other people. I gave her my resume and letters explaining my situation and she passed them along to her friend, Mr. Morgan. A merge of days later, I received a phone call from him with encouraging words.
He seemed like an upbeat man and I wanted to get to know him more. Within a merge of weeks, my mom and I had met Mr. Morgan at his office to get to know each other and he had a few books that he wanted to give me. Come to find out, Mr. Morgan is friends with a lot of individuals all over the world. He even told me a story about eating lunch with John McCain and Sarah Palin, the Republican Party representatives for the 2008 Presidential race. Not only that, I also found out that he is friends with many noted singers as well.
He had told me that he literally believes the only way he met these citizen were through Christ. He tells excellent stories of helping someone and meeting other individuals. God's plan for his life is unique in a way for him to be able to priest and gawk to those who may not get the opportunity often to hear of God's word. I walked away from his office feeling confident, and knowing that one day, I want to be able to be like him: giving help to others who never would have view help would be there.
A few months later into the summer of 2008, right before Troy University started, I received a call from a man named Buddy Starling stating that I had received a Leadership scholarship of ,000 a year for all four years. The Leadership Scholars have to do three hours a week of volunteer aid to the school and pronounce a good Gpa. I found out that I was also going to do work-study, where I could work on campus receiving a pay-check every two weeks. I do not remember how many times I thanked Mr. Starling until the phones were clicked off. See, in the middle of the grant I received from the state and this extra scholarship, God in case,granted me with a way to attend Troy University. It was one of the most memorable days of my life. Along with attending Troy, God has also given me the opportunities to have some trainee jobs on campus that will pay my tuition and room and board.
I have come to realize that if I had received the ,000 scholarship back when I was a high school senior that I would not be in any place to where I am today. God knew that I would work for having my college paid for, but if it was already paid for, I would not have been as appreciative of many things here and may have taken advantage of more of the small things. God does not always give us the easiest route.
Oftentimes, His will is much more complex, but in the end it is certainly much more worth-while. He never promised us that all things will be easy, but that he will be there with us through it all! God loves you, and so do I.
In Conclusion
In the book of Job, God tells us a story about a man named Job who goes through many sufferings. He loses his cattle, sons and daughters, and is cursed with open wound sores exterior his body. Job questions why all of this has happened to him and his friend Eliphaz says: "Your words have supported those who stumbled; you have strengthened faltering knees. But now issue comes to you, and you are discouraged; it strikes you, and you are dismayed. Should not your piety be your trust and your blameless ways your hope?" Job 4: 4-6
Life is not about happy-endings and manufacture the world a better place. Life is about life....helping others who needs God's love and reminding them that through this quicksand seemingly destroying their surroundings, there is a way out.
In Job 5: 6-7, it also states " For hardship does not spring from the soil, nor does issue sprout from the ground. Yet man is born to issue as literally as sparks fly upward."
This verse is telling us that troubles are going to come, troubles will be there. But the thing is, it is up to us to how those troubles go away. Will you seek toward the path that seems "easier" or the one that God has constructed for your life that will end in abundance?
"But if you look to God and plead with the Almighty, if you are pure and upright, even now he will rouse himself on your profit and restore you to your rightful place. Your beginnings will seem humble, so thriving will your future be." Job 8: 5-6
In the end of Job, the Bible states that Job ended up being well over 100-years old, and he ended up being more thriving than he was before.
The devil will try to temp you in many ways and the book of Job explains how it was the devil who had taken away all of that from Job.
Don't listen to those voices in your head that tell you you are not pretty or thin enough; that you will never make it to where you want to be; that what you fantasize only happens to the rich or the lucky, No! Those words are the devil pulling and dragging you down, and God's plans for your life are much greater than Any of those negative voices you hear.
But, we do need to realize that our prayers we send to God are not to be answered within our time frame, it is His time.
I went on an awesome missions trip a merge weeks back in mobile and I had the opportunity to listen to a very wise speaker who made this comment: God always answers prayers, just sometimes the write back is no.
Just like when I was praying for God to allow me to make the final-cut for the scholarship, His write back was no.
But, please do not be impatient. If you are calling out to Him and seeking for Him, He will at last come. Just remember to keep your faith and share your love!!
I love you so much and I hope that you take these stories and ponder about them when you get into a rut or a hard situation. Just remember, God does listen and He is there!
There is so much more I could say and write about that I literally feel as if I should share. If you would like to hear more of my testimonies and how God has taken me out of crazy situations, please Please get in touch with me. I literally do enjoy sharing these stories to how God has shown me His love and how I have seen His love surround others!
You are fabulous and I literally do love each and every one of you!! Thank you for taking your time to read this, you're awesome! :D
Definition Of Lung Cancer:Unconditional Love
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